Comments on: To Unfriend or not to Unfriend? http://thefallencleric.com/2010/01/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/ Thoughts on God, counseling, relationships, etc. Sat, 04 Feb 2012 17:18:51 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: thefallencleric http://thefallencleric.com/2010/01/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/comment-page-1/#comment-2936 thefallencleric Tue, 06 Dec 2011 17:06:27 +0000 http://thefallencleric.wordpress.com/2010/01/28/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/#comment-2936 That is maddening isn't it? I'm sorry to hear of this hurtful situation. It's hard to accept the fact that ultimately all we can do is ask people to care about us and be in our lives and sometimes they may choose not to for reasons we will never know. Sounds like you have made it clear to this person that you'd like to talk. The only thing I'd suggest is that, since she said, "Maybe after school" you could follow up with her. Sounds like you're waiting for her to follow up, but seems she at least opened the door, so I'd follow up and then, if no response, leave it at that. And mourn for what you have lost. Peace to you and thanks for reading. That is maddening isn’t it? I’m sorry to hear of this hurtful situation. It’s hard to accept the fact that ultimately all we can do is ask people to care about us and be in our lives and sometimes they may choose not to for reasons we will never know. Sounds like you have made it clear to this person that you’d like to talk. The only thing I’d suggest is that, since she said, “Maybe after school” you could follow up with her. Sounds like you’re waiting for her to follow up, but seems she at least opened the door, so I’d follow up and then, if no response, leave it at that. And mourn for what you have lost. Peace to you and thanks for reading.

]]> By: Renae http://thefallencleric.com/2010/01/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/comment-page-1/#comment-2927 Renae Sun, 04 Dec 2011 06:06:30 +0000 http://thefallencleric.wordpress.com/2010/01/28/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/#comment-2927 Would love some feedback on my situation. I'm a Christian, and last summer one of my fb "friends" who I've been in church with for several yrs unfriended me. We also had in common, her husband and I were patients at the same cancer hospital. As I improved, my husband and I visited them there twice. After a long struggle, her husband died. It hurt me that she unfriended me. I tried to think of anything I did or said that could have upset her, and come up with either I forgot to send a written thanks for a gift they sent me when I was sick (I verbally thanked them profusely)or that maybe in some way she doesn't want to associate with me b/c I still go to this hospital for checkups, still have the cancer. Maybe she doesn't want the reminder of cancer after losing her husband to it.. I did ask her by message if we could talk, so I could make things right if I upset her in some way. Her response, "Maybe after school starts." That was 6 mos. ago, and when she sees me she looks away.Thanks for any ideas. Would love some feedback on my situation. I’m a Christian, and last summer one of my fb “friends” who I’ve been in church with for several yrs unfriended me. We also had in common, her husband and I were patients at the same cancer hospital. As I improved, my husband and I visited them there twice. After a long struggle, her husband died. It hurt me that she unfriended me. I tried to think of anything I did or said that could have upset her, and come up with either I forgot to send a written thanks for a gift they sent me when I was sick (I verbally thanked them profusely)or that maybe in some way she doesn’t want to associate with me b/c I still go to this hospital for checkups, still have the cancer. Maybe she doesn’t want the reminder of cancer after losing her husband to it.. I did ask her by message if we could talk, so I could make things right if I upset her in some way. Her response, “Maybe after school starts.” That was 6 mos. ago, and when she sees me she looks away.Thanks for any ideas.

]]> By: Merry http://thefallencleric.com/2010/01/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/comment-page-1/#comment-597 Merry Wed, 31 Mar 2010 23:59:26 +0000 http://thefallencleric.wordpress.com/2010/01/28/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/#comment-597 Thanks for the info. That's a relief. Thanks for the info. That’s a relief.

]]> By: thefallencleric http://thefallencleric.com/2010/01/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/comment-page-1/#comment-596 thefallencleric Wed, 31 Mar 2010 19:36:02 +0000 http://thefallencleric.wordpress.com/2010/01/28/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/#comment-596 Hi, thanks for reading . Now that they are off your friend list, they cannot get you back on theirs, or get onto yours, without sending you another friend invitation. You have nothing to worry about and can put that toxic mess behind you. Hi, thanks for reading . Now that they are off your friend list, they cannot get you back on theirs, or get onto yours, without sending you another friend invitation. You have nothing to worry about and can put that toxic mess behind you.

]]> By: Merry http://thefallencleric.com/2010/01/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/comment-page-1/#comment-595 Merry Wed, 31 Mar 2010 18:34:53 +0000 http://thefallencleric.wordpress.com/2010/01/28/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/#comment-595 Recently I was "unfriended" by my son-in-law's mother, brother, and the brother's fiance (apparently his sister has yet to get the memo because she's still on my list). I'm not really sure why this happened, and I'd just as soon keep things as cordial in real life as possible. The question I cannot get the answer to anywhere I looked is this. Now that they have unfriended me can they add me back onto their list without asking me to be their friend again? In other words is the power all in the hands of the person who decides to unfriend or block or does the person who gets unfriended have to be asked to get included back in a friend list again? I had been sorely tempted for various reasons to unfriend two of these people months ago because I got sick of seeing negative comments on my FB feed. However, I didn't do so because I felt it would be a really hostile action on my part. Consequently, all I did was put them in the hide feed category. Now that they've chosen to take themselves off the list I'd sort of prefer that they stay off. So do I have to agree to give them access again, or can they just decide to take it? Recently I was “unfriended” by my son-in-law’s mother, brother, and the brother’s fiance (apparently his sister has yet to get the memo because she’s still on my list). I’m not really sure why this happened, and I’d just as soon keep things as cordial in real life as possible. The question I cannot get the answer to anywhere I looked is this. Now that they have unfriended me can they add me back onto their list without asking me to be their friend again? In other words is the power all in the hands of the person who decides to unfriend or block or does the person who gets unfriended have to be asked to get included back in a friend list again?

I had been sorely tempted for various reasons to unfriend two of these people months ago because I got sick of seeing negative comments on my FB feed. However, I didn’t do so because I felt it would be a really hostile action on my part. Consequently, all I did was put them in the hide feed category. Now that they’ve chosen to take themselves off the list I’d sort of prefer that they stay off. So do I have to agree to give them access again, or can they just decide to take it?

]]> By: Mike http://thefallencleric.com/2010/01/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/comment-page-1/#comment-512 Mike Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:11:38 +0000 http://thefallencleric.wordpress.com/2010/01/28/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/#comment-512 I recently joined FB in order to access some documents written by someone to whom I was introduced. Since that time I have received a few "let's be friends" requests from persons I don't know, knew/worked with in the past, relatives I might/not have seen in the past few years. I tend to not refuse a request from someone I know unless it's been 10-20-30 years since I last heard from them. An exception is relatives. Sadly, it's one of my haven't-seen-you-in-a-lifetime relatives that is keeping me upto-date on the video-games he plays. Who cares. I recently joined FB in order to access some documents written by someone to whom I was introduced. Since that time I have received a few “let’s be friends” requests from persons I don’t know, knew/worked with in the past, relatives I might/not have seen in the past few years. I tend to not refuse a request from someone I know unless it’s been 10-20-30 years since I last heard from them. An exception is relatives. Sadly, it’s one of my haven’t-seen-you-in-a-lifetime relatives that is keeping me upto-date on the video-games he plays. Who cares.

]]> By: thefallencleric http://thefallencleric.com/2010/01/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/comment-page-1/#comment-347 thefallencleric Mon, 01 Feb 2010 16:08:24 +0000 http://thefallencleric.wordpress.com/2010/01/28/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/#comment-347 I agree Brian. People use political arguments to hide their coldness over what has happened in Haiti, but it's a pretty thin cover for what is obviously a total lack of compassion and basic decency. -- Sent from my iPod touch I agree Brian. People use political arguments to hide their coldness over what has happened in Haiti, but it’s a pretty thin cover for what is obviously a total lack of compassion and basic decency.

— Sent from my iPod touch

]]> By: Brian http://thefallencleric.com/2010/01/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/comment-page-1/#comment-346 Brian Mon, 01 Feb 2010 13:41:16 +0000 http://thefallencleric.wordpress.com/2010/01/28/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/#comment-346 About six months later, she tried to "re-join" my list. I ignored the request. Perhaps sending an explanation would get some healing conversation going OR seal the deal between both parties. Today, Monday, reading some of the really cold posts about Haiti, I'm thinking about unfriending some more people. People are acting like "Haiti was so two weeks ago and they need to get over the whole friends and family dying thing." To be blunt, that pisses me off. About six months later, she tried to “re-join” my list. I ignored the request. Perhaps sending an explanation would get some healing conversation going OR seal the deal between both parties.

Today, Monday, reading some of the really cold posts about Haiti, I’m thinking about unfriending some more people. People are acting like “Haiti was so two weeks ago and they need to get over the whole friends and family dying thing.” To be blunt, that pisses me off.

]]> By: Bryan http://thefallencleric.com/2010/01/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/comment-page-1/#comment-344 Bryan Sun, 31 Jan 2010 18:31:54 +0000 http://thefallencleric.wordpress.com/2010/01/28/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/#comment-344 I have only "unfriended" a handful of people, and most were "friends" that I didn't know personally, but instead were friends of friends or something of that nature. One guy was totally obnoxious about a sports rivalry, and felt that he could post rambling 5-6 paragraph statements about how much my team sucked, blah blah blah. I'm up for some back and forth bantering (as a guy who moved from Michigan to Ohio, I have had my share of lively debates!), but I no one has the right to hijack my FB wall. Also, I ocassionally review my list of friends. If there are people who haven't posted in 6 months or people that I've friended but have never communicated with, I sometimes quietly unfriend them. I know I've been unfriended a few times, most recently because of my unflattering comments on Michael Jackson following his passing(that I posted as a status update and not on her wall). I had no problem with that; I think we should all have a minimal level of skin thickness, and if a person wants to defriend another over opinions on current events or pop culture happenings, let the defriendings commence! I have only “unfriended” a handful of people, and most were “friends” that I didn’t know personally, but instead were friends of friends or something of that nature.

One guy was totally obnoxious about a sports rivalry, and felt that he could post rambling 5-6 paragraph statements about how much my team sucked, blah blah blah. I’m up for some back and forth bantering (as a guy who moved from Michigan to Ohio, I have had my share of lively debates!), but I no one has the right to hijack my FB wall.

Also, I ocassionally review my list of friends. If there are people who haven’t posted in 6 months or people that I’ve friended but have never communicated with, I sometimes quietly unfriend them.

I know I’ve been unfriended a few times, most recently because of my unflattering comments on Michael Jackson following his passing(that I posted as a status update and not on her wall). I had no problem with that; I think we should all have a minimal level of skin thickness, and if a person wants to defriend another over opinions on current events or pop culture happenings, let the defriendings commence!

]]> By: thefallencleric http://thefallencleric.com/2010/01/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/comment-page-1/#comment-339 thefallencleric Fri, 29 Jan 2010 18:42:46 +0000 http://thefallencleric.wordpress.com/2010/01/28/7-rules-for-using-facebook-responsibly/#comment-339 More good alternatives, thank you! I think, though, that about 90% of Facebook users have no idea how to hide feeds or deal much with security settings. Not saying they shouldn't, just that they don't. In fact, people SHOULD take time to learn this stuff. Great post with some good ideas. More good alternatives, thank you! I think, though, that about 90% of Facebook users have no idea how to hide feeds or deal much with security settings. Not saying they shouldn’t, just that they don’t. In fact, people SHOULD take time to learn this stuff.

Great post with some good ideas.

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