Archive - 2010


Blogging the Alphabet


Keys, by stevecw19 on Flickr

Starting tomorrow my daughter Kyra (Keer’ uh) and I are beginning a joint venture in blogging.  We will begin a blogging journey through the alphabet, each day blogging on a successive letter, A to Z. Here are the rules we have established:

1. I called the word “Xenophobia” for X while we were still making up the rules. Kyra will have to blog about xylophones or Xerox machines that day.

2. Other than the above, we will not share with one another what we will be posting about each day.

3. Each day we will each link to the other person’s post on that day’s letter.

4. We will do this 26 days in a row. Some of these posts will be wonderful. Some will probably be H for Horrible.

5. Our readers are welcome to send us ideas on what to blog about, but of course we will each make our own decisions, and our topics will remain secret until we publish each day’s post. (Some of you might want to help Kyra on her X day.)

6. We will publish together each day. It might be morning, noon, or night, but one will not publish until the other one is ready.

7. The goal is to publish 26 days in a row, but we reserve the right to skip a day here and there by mutual agreement. I don’t want to see Kyra’s excellent grades tank because her dad insisted that she spend her homework time writing about Xerox machines.

8. Our goals are: a) to share something we love together; b) to challenge ourselves topically and creatively; c) to post every day for 26 days; and d) to hopefully increase our readership while giving our readers a little bit of fun.

We hope you will join us!

Getting Trashed vs. Cleaning Up

photos by just another picture

We live in a culture that will support and encourage you to run from your problems in any way possible.  Stop by the bar every night and have a few beers.  Make sure you have alcohol at your parties, so everyone can loosen up and have a good time.  If you go to a friend’s house, be sure to bring a six pack.  Do all of these things and no one will ever question you.  In fact you will be encouraged and celebrated.

But should you decide to stop drowning your sorrows and start paying attention to what they might be telling you — should you decide to open up to your life and your emotions — should you decide to face how devastating your losses and failures have been and seek help — don’t expect a whole lot of encouragement.  Expect, in fact, a certain amount of opposition.  People will encourage you as long as you are handling your difficulties in the culturally preferred way, which is to ignore them and/or run from them, which is exactly what alcohol helps us do.  But get serious about confronting your problems, get down to business with acknowledging the truth that you are in fact a significant part of your problems, and you will likely face some ridicule.  Interesting how we cheer on those who keep their problems at the end of a bottle, but often ridicule those who have chosen to use another substance — Xanax, Paxil, Zoloft, whatever — to help them actually face their problems, confront them, and work through them.  And no, I do not and have not used these substances — but my point, of course, is so what if I did.

I am not saying that everyone who enjoys a glass of wine with dinner is “drowning their sorrows,” or that all people who choose to drink are actively in the process of denying their problems.  I am simply saying that, culturally, the “deny problems” approach is favored, and the “confront problems” approach is not.  And of course people are actively engaged in denying their problems both with and without the help of alcohol, and with the help of many other substances and habits besides alcohol.

But deep down, we all know that something is wrong.  We all know, deep down, that we are hiding fear, or insecurity, or jealousy, or regret, or a feeling of inauthenticity. Nearly everyone fears that if others really knew us, they could never accept us and love us.  We’re all hiding something.  And because this is true, most people are therefore enormously threatened when someone in their life decides to stop hiding and to find, face, and follow the truth.  When you make this decision, people who claim to love you (and for the most part really do) will often ridicule you, call you a head case, and try anything they can think of to get you to return to denial and falsehood.  This is not because you’re doing anything wrong.  It’s nothing personal.  It’s just that the light you are reflecting hurts their eyes.  Truth can be painful to look at, and when you begin to look at the truth about your life, others feel less comfortable denying the truth about their own.  If they are not willing and ready to face the truth, they will say and do whatever they have to do to get you to stop living in truth.  It’s nothing personal, although it feels very personal.

So if you are a truth-seeker — if you have decided to clean up instead of remaining trashed — to pursue truth rather than falsehood — to face reality instead of run from it — do not expect the enthusiastic support of those around you.  If you end up getting it, you are fortunate indeed.  Either way, seek the truth about yourself and your way of being in the world.  You owe it to yourself.  But remember to be gracious with those who are not ready to do the same.

How To Know God (in exactly 1000 words)

We live under the illusion that we are separate from God. If we believe in God at all, we think we are “here” and God is “over there.” The truth is that we are part of God, and God is part of us. This is not to be confused with Hindu pantheism, which states that God literally IS the rocks, and the trees, and the animals. Christianity accepts that God is present IN all of these things, that he is one with them, but unlike pantheism, Christianity teaches that God has a personality — that God is, in some important sense, a personal being. We believe both in transcendence (God out there, beyond time and space) and in imminence (God inside, at the deepest levels and places). In other words, we believe that reality as we know it exists inside of God, but that God also moves out infinitely beyond it. This view is called panentheism.

People have different spiritual journeys, to be sure, but knowing God usually happens from one of two directions. First, a person can come to see, hear, and understand God in themselves. They can come to understand that God is not present only in their perfect places, but also in their broken places, to realize that God, in the words of Israel’s ancient shema, “Is One.”  As they increasingly sense and know the presence of God in these deep and formerly off-limits places in themselves, they will naturally begin to see God in parts of the world they never imagined God in — other cultures, races, sexual orientations, religions, governments, economies — and in other people and places they formerly despised.

[Not incidentally, this is the only basis from which it is even possible to obey Christ's command to love our enemies.  Love actually has no enemies.  As long as you are conscious of yourself as loving someone you perceive as an "enemy," this is not what Jesus intended, and your attempts, well-intentioned as they may be, will lead to continual frustration and failure.  Witness Jesus carrying his cross, and breathing prayers for the forgiveness of his murderers.  Jesus was only able to love them because although he might have been their enemy, they were not his enemies. That is what the command means, and the only thing it could mean. However, at some point you must begin, and so you begin by trying to love people you perceive as enemies (yes, with all the attendant frustration that produces, until you learn to let go). As you progress on the spiritual journey, your love will grow to where it includes those you formerly included as enemies. At this point you will no longer have any enemies (from your perspective), and you will be in full obedience.]

The other way a person can come to know God is to begin on the outside.  We can begin by looking long enough at the world around us that at last we can see God there.  When at last the picture begins to emerge, and we come to understand that God really is everywhere out there, then we can also come to believe that God truly is in all of the places inside of us — all those places we had previously kept closed to God, that we had incorrectly assumed were separating us from God.

As long as I believe that there are people and places and situations where God is not present in the outside world, I will also believe this is true about what is inside of me.  As long as I believe that there are places inside of me that God cannot or does not care to reach, I will think of other people (which other people? — always those who are different from me) as being beyond God, or as being people in whom God could not possibly be interested.  Usually we admit on some level that God loves everybody, but we assume that God’s love depends (partly or wholly) on fixing or getting rid of this or that bad quality, habit, or characteristic.

Let us put the matter to rest.  We do not need to change in order for God to love us.  Rather, God’s love is the thing that makes change possible.  If we attempt to change because we must, ought to, have to, or feel guilty about not changing, our attempts to change will be half-hearted at best, and we will find ourselves in the pattern most of us are in fact stuck in now.  Try then give up.  Try then give up.  Try then give up.  An endless cycle of attempts to be “better,” followed by eventual failures.  This leads to increasing exhaustion, frustration, burnout, brokenness, regret, and self-loathing.  It is a game we cannot win, and therefore would do well to stop playing immediately.  It is what the Apostle Paul referred to when he frequently wrote that we cannot ever find ourselves made right by following rules.  Rules are and will always be part of the problem, as rules are always imposed on us from something outside of ourselves and thus, even when we try to obey them, we can never fully embrace them.  We will either sense that rules are pressing us under their thumb and struggle to obey them, feeling miserable in our failures, or else — perhaps worse — we will succeed in obeying many of them.  The only result possible there is arrogance, pride in ourselves, and a sense of frustration and anger that other people are not doing as well as we are. Notice that in the first case, the frustration and anger is self-directed (inner), and in the second, it is others-directed (outer).

Which brings us nicely back to how we can come to know God either through seeing God as truly and deeply in the world around us, or through learning to see God truly and deeply in ourselves.  A breakthrough in one area will naturally produce a breakthrough in the other.

Desperately Seeking My Soul

I often find myself barreling through life, moving at light speed from one suffocating activity to the next. I experience my life as chaotic, random, and exhausting, yet I do not stop. t’s not that I particularly enjoy most of what I’m doing. It’s just that I’m doing something, and there’s always more to do – one more phone call, one more email, one more thorough cleanse of my Inbox, one more computer problem to fix. After a while I begin feeling like I am choking — that I have stepped on my own oxygen hose. I can almost feel my soul shriveling up inside of me, and yet often I barrel on. Nothing relieves that sense of suffocation and restores my soul, except for quietness and solitude and prayer. That’s it.

I notice that as I get older, I am getting less and less capable of doing without these times of quietness and prayer. I wondered about that for a while, if perhaps it was simply a sign of encroaching age, and sensitivity to busyness and activity. That’s not it. I realized that actually something very different is going on. As I have invested more and more into prayer, I am becoming more averse to the old air I used to breathe (the air of relentless activity, accomplishment, and busyness) and more dependent on the new and fresher air of Spirit (peace, rest, silence, balance, joy, love). The simple way of saying it is that I am finding that the more I pray, the more I need to pray.

This of course makes sense. Before I started working out, I rarely if ever sensed a need to do it. When I first began working out, it felt awkward and uncomfortable. I felt averse to it. But the more I did it, the better I started feeling and the less I was able to tolerate feeling the way I had felt previously. Psychologically, investment in anything creates a dynamic where the brain begins to find reasons for that investment. This happens whether the investment is terrible (like an abusive relationship, where one manufactures reasons to stay) or wonderful (like a decision to get in shape).  Of course we didn’t really need psychology to tell us that. A wise man named Jesus once said, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21).

When you invest yourself into something (build treasure there), your heart and mind will attach to it, and you will find it becoming more and more important.  As I have sought to restore my soul in prayer, I have found prayer becoming more of a necessity in my life, which in turn regularly restores my soul.

Anti-Believer Bias?

I was checking out my MySpace page tonight and did something I never do – I read a bulletin.  It was posted by an old acquaintance of mine from high school.  It was very long (and a bit tiresome) and went on about how “fundamentalists” are to be feared for various reasons: 

We see fundamentalists as a relatively contained group of self-righteous crackpots who are tiresome to deal with on local school boards and, god knows, in the White House. After all, we’re smarter than they are. But winning majorities in both houses of Congress last week should not comfort us with the belief that the nation has returned to “normalcy,” that Bush has been disarmed, that the fundamentalist leadership has suffered a setback.

I’m no Bush defender, nor do I consider myself a fundamentalist, although strictly speaking the label possibly could fit.  But the name-calling got hard to read:

We can’t conceive of the possibility that the dupes, the saps, the fools – the believers – have been with us from the very beginning

I’m sick of the assumption that those who believe that there is more to this world than meets the eye are kooks.  Doesn’t that spring from a self-righteousness of its own?  Who gets to decide what reality is?  In his article Blind Science vs. Blind Faith, Dallas Willard takes on the question of who gets to define reality.  He says both sides tend to defend their traditional positions rather than be open to truth wherever it can be found.

In his writings elsewhere, Willard says that if we could find a better way, Christ would encourage us to take it, because Christ would not encourage us to believe something that is false.  This mindset allows us to freely explore questions with an openness to whatever we find, not simply react knee-jerk-style to everything that appears to threaten what we already believe.

Church, can we have a faith like that?

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