Expect to bury something. You’ll either bury your fear in faith or bury your talents in fear. — Ann Voscamp
Thanks to the large number of you who have continued checking out the blog regularly. I realize the frequency of posts has been way down, even since I returned from my sabbatical. I was not able to finish the whole book while I was gone and so most of my available time has been spent trying to get it finished up.
Fear is my constant companion. I sent a “guest post” to a very successful leadership blog today and found fear lapping around my ankles. I keep worrying that something is going to expose me as a fraud, an impostor, a joke. Sounds severe, I know, but every writer has these fears. We can succeed for a while to push them out, but they always come galloping back again, threatening to take us down. No amount of reassurance seems to quell them. That because they live in a place no one can reach — my own sense of value. Let me show you.
I know I am a good writer
I know I am a better writer than most
I know I am a deeper thinker than many, and that I can capture complex ideas in fairly simple writing
I know I love people dearly and write in a voice that is compassionate and patient
I know I have something to say
I know my work could help people live better lives (because I see it all the time)
My fears aren’t about any of this. My fears are about everything I know above going unrecognized, about my work not being seen by anyone in a position to help my dreams materialize. And yet ultimately I cannot write to be published, or simply to be successful, and certainly not to make money.
Speaking of money and success, I have read that the odds of writing a New York Times bestseller are 1 in 220 [divinecaroline.com]. Not bad odds, really. And yet fear is always lurking. It must be brushed back every time I sit down to write. No wonder most people never achieve anything great, and I say that not with criticism but with compassion. It’s hard. Even getting started in earnest has taken me 43 years.
Currently the manuscript that I have finished (all but two chapters) is being read and edited by two close friends and I will start sending out my proposal to publishers in two weeks after I have had a chance to incorporate the edits.
Question: How are you facing your fears? What passion do you have that will require you to brush back fear constantly? What will the world lose if you don’t face that challenge?
Despite having a B.S. in Clinical Psychology and an M.A. in Counseling, I don’t read a lot of “straight” psychology books. Often they are boring and extremely theoretical. I tend to read practical psychology books, the kind that most others would find interesting in this category. A rare exception to this makes up my first choice today:
1. Man’s Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl. Frankl (a psychiatrist) and his family were imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp. In this challenging, galling, depressing, and yet extremely moving account, Frankl theorizes that people and circumstances can rob you of everything you have in the world except the thing that matters most , which is your ability to choose your attitude in any and every situation. This idea is now one of the foundations of modern psychotherapy. Even if you are not a frequent reader of books in this category, do yourself the favor of reading this one soon. You won’t regret it.
2. The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck. This gazillion seller contains one of the most thoughtful meldings of psychology and spirituality I have seen. Read it and you will understand yourself better and you will be better equipped to love those around you.
3. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, by Peter Scazzero. This one may not be that interesting to my readers who are more secularly-minded, but it is fantastic with the idea of accepting responsibility for one’s emotional and spiritual growth and how growth happens.
Mark Twain said there is little difference between a person who can’t read and a person who doesn’t. So true, and one of the surest signs that a person needs to read is that he/she has no use for it. Similarly, one of the first things you learn when you begin reading is how critical reading is. My next several posts will deal with my top book recommendations in a number of categories. We begin today with leadership.
I’m sick of leadership books. Then again I probably only have the luxury of saying that because I have read hundreds of them. By the time you have read a hundred leadership books (and perhaps far fewer), you realize that leadership is more art than science. Still, there are books that are essential in the field.
The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, by John Maxwell. For some reason John seems to ignite controversy but I think he’s just blunt, which is, I think, a fairly good way to get at the truth. This book is a must-read. It has the distinction of being the only book on leadership I would recommend to you if I knew you were only going to read one.
Good to Great, by Jim Collins. Now-legendary book about how organizations leap across the chasm that separates good from great. Well-written, and based on solid research.
The Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership, by Steven Sample. The leadership book for people who are tired of leadership books.
The Servant, by James Hunter. This book is written in an accessible allegory format, for those who prefer fiction. It is a book about the soul of leadership.
Leadership, by Rudolph Giuliani. Although I no longer see as eye to eye with Giuliani as I used to politically, one must give credit where credit is due. Giuliani inspired America with his leadership after 9/11, and in this book he explains that he did it simply by following the same routines he had followed for years. A great book about the habits of an effective leader.
Question: What are your favorite books on leadership? Any in my top five that you think need to be demoted?
This post is entirely selfish. It has nothing to do with any of the things I normally blog about. I’m just proud of my little brother.
My brother Dan is president and CEO of the Akron-Canton Regional Foodbank. He is a model of excellence in everything he does there. This year, finally, he received the recognition he has deserved for years. If you know Dan, you’ll love watching this. If you don’t, I think it will inspire you. I may be the only person on earth who knows how hard Dan has worked not just at the foodbank but on becoming the person you see accepting that award. The love, the humility, the joy, the spontaneity — all of these things come from immense challenges Dan has stepped up to meet day after day. He is an inspiration to me and to all who know him, not because his challenges are unique, but because they are so common to all of us, and he does what it takes to overcome.
The woman speaking at the beginning is Vicki Escarra, CEO of Feeding America, the national network to which most foodbanks belong. Vicki began her career as a flight attendant for Delta Airlines and worked her way up to being a top executive at Delta, before accepting the job at Feeding America. These are quality people doing quality work. I have had the pleasure of meeting many food bank presidents and other employees and have been deeply impressed with their passion for their work.
I’m plumbing my kitchen sink. It’s the worst, hardest, most frustrating thing I have ever done. Seriously. I know these days it’s popular to speak in the most extreme terms possible:
“That was the greatest movie ever.” “That test was the worst.” “I have a headache that is killing me.”
Please don’t think I’m doing that. I hate this with a passion I’ve never hated anything before. I even hate it beyond any interest in finding some kind of spiritual point in it, which I usually manage to do with most things. I hate it to the point where I’m sitting on my kitchen floor almost laughing sometimes (one of those evil laughs like you hear in the movies), because it is a better alternative than crying, ripping my brand new counter-top apart, yelling at one of my girls, getting really, really drunk (which would make it even harder to fix the sink), sticking my head in a blender, etc.
Funny how suffering is relative. I know some people right now who are literally suffering the worst thing that could ever happen in a family – the slow, horrible death of one of the family members. I realize that compared to suffering like that, what I’m going through is barely worthy of mention. Okay, it’s not worthy of mention at all. Normally that realization would put my emotions in proper perspective. Not this time. All I can think about is that no matter how much that situation sucks, plumbing my kitchen sink sucks too. I know it doesn’t suck half as bad, or in anywhere near the same way, but that doesn’t change the fact that it deeply, truly, genuinely, sincerely, completely, thoroughly sucks. [For those of my church brethren who are offended by my use of the word, "sucks," please accept my apologies. It blows.]
Tomorrow I will again spend the day in the official “standing on my head” plumber position. (Of course you don’t know this, but it’s the position from which I’m typing at this moment.) Who knows, some of my family members might even have to start reminding me to say no to crack.
My name is David Flowers. I am pastor of Wildwind Community Church in Flint, MI. I am a licensed counselor, and I teach part-time in Spring Arbor University's graduate programs in counseling and family studies. I write mostly about counseling, the church, and spiritual topics, and am seeking a publisher for my first book, Living Truthfully.
