I have a friend who has a friend who is looking for a good church.  In the middle of his search, he went to a church where he heard that “the church is not meant to serve you and meet all your needs.”  Now he is feeling guilty for even looking for a church that seems like the right place for him.  Is it okay to shop for a church, to look around for one that seems to “fit?”

The answer, I believe, is yes.  AND – the church is not meant to serve you and meet all your needs!  It’s fine to look for a church that has beliefs and practices you are okay being involved with.  It is fine to look for preaching that “works” for you, as long as “works” means challenging you, prodding you, making you think, and maybe even sometimes making you mad.  “Working for you” should mean you won’t always agree with everything, will sometimes feel a bit offended, and will frequently be challenged and urged to think.  If you are not stretched and challenged, you are not learning anything.  So find a church where the preaching challenges you to grow and makes you think in new ways.

On the other hand, it’s not a good idea to approach finding a church from a consumer mindset.  Churches that are doing the best work are critiquing the American “you can have it all” way of thinking.  Churches that have anything important to say are saying – at the very least – that the real meaning of life is something other than getting everything we want, or even everything we think we need.  [In my opinion, any church that is not constantly returning to this idea has lost its way and now believes it is part of the culture.  Churches should stand outside the culture and never become beholden to it.]  Finding a church is not like deciding what to order at McDonald’s.

I think finding a church is actually more like finding a mate.  Because of the size of the commitment you are going to make to a mate, you are serious about the search.  You don’t just settle for anybody.  At least you shouldn’t!  You date.  You think through what it is you’re looking for and what marriage is going to mean.  Continue Reading…