April 25, 2012 in
MISCELLANY with
What do you do when you are losing your way?
Writing had been going great up until last Wednesday. Suddenly I found myself losing my way. I completed chapter six and was excited, but I got distracted. I started thinking about getting my proposal finished.
“If I could just get this stupid proposal done and get an agent, he/she could be shopping this book around to publishers while I’m finishing the content.”
“It often takes a long time to get an agent. I’d better try to nail that down while I’m on sabbatical.”
“How are you going to get your proposal finished? You don’t have enough writing experience.” So I spent an afternoon writing an article for a magazine and sending it out.
“You read the other day that non-fiction writers often don’t need agents but can go straight to the publisher. Should you try that? How does that work?”
“Your opening chapter isn’t strong enough. It doesn’t grab the reader’s attention. You need to revise that chapter.” Re-wrote chapter one yesterday.
“Your proposal is too weak. You need to prove that you know the market better.” Spent the rest of yesterday beefing up the proposal.
“You’re lost, dude. You need advice.” Spent time last night scouring the Internet looking for written advice, or for organizations that help writers learn the process.
Woke up this morning feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed. Had five minutes to talk to my wife so I shared this with her and she said, “Write your book. Just finish the chapters. You can do all that other stuff later, but the one thing you can do right now is keep getting stuff on paper.”
She was right. And so the solution, again, is to keep writing.
In the meantime I have made some exciting progress this past week. I wrote to a popular spiritual writer and asked if she would consider reading my book (once I find a publisher) and writing an endorsement for me. Endorsements are a big deal for a book. Every endorsement carries with it a group of people who recognize and trust the writer of that endorsement and will buy it on that person’s recommendation. Anyway, a few days later she got back to me and said she is willing to do that. Doesn’t mean she’ll endorse it, but she is willing to read it and if she thinks the book is good she will write the endorsement. That’s exciting.
Also, this past week I secured a name and email address of someone at an agency. I am not ready to send in a proposal yet, but it’s great to have this information on recommendation of someone I trust who knows the business a bit better than I do.
What do you do when you are losing your way? Keep doing what you know. Refuse to remain paralyzed.
April 15, 2012 in
MISCELLANY with
Update: No updates in a while because I have been off by myself writing my book. As it stands now, I have five chapters completed, 59 pages, 19,914 words. Feeling like I have found my voice, but not always able to keep it as clear as I’d like. Still, great progress on writing my sucky first draft. This weekend I’ll go to the Calvin Festival of Faith and Writing and hopefully get a chance to run some of my work by a few publishers, editors, or agents. I will get critical feedback that will help me come back home and spiff it up as much as possible.
There is even a small chance that somebody might like what they see enough to make me some kind of offer right there on the spot. Hoping and praying this books finds a publisher and an audience, because I have seen the power of these ideas to help people.
April 12, 2012 in
MISCELLANY with
After my “crash” experience yesterday I realized my problem was really about finding my voice. I determined to just focus on writing my sucky first draft and leave it at that. This allowed me to squeeze out of self-consciousness and settle into “my voice.” I assume most people reading these posts are writers on some level, but a “voice” is a writer’s way of writing. Everyone speaks with a certain voice that is unique to them. But writers have to craft their writing voices, and this can be difficult. I do know blogging regularly over the past few years has helped me begin to settle into a voice. Not a moment I have spent on blogging has been wasted. If you want to be a writer, start writing. Start a blog, and then post regularly. Don’t let anything get in the way. Not even working on your first book. 
Lesson: Adjust expectations. While I don’t want an agent or editor to see crap on the page, the first thing is there must be something on the page. Get something on the page, even if it’s crap. Chances are, when you settle into just getting something on the page, you will free yourself from your perfectionism and be much happier with what you are writing. As you learn to do this, you will find your voice. I only wrote six pages of my second chapter yesterday. It took me all day. But what I wrote was good, and I knew it. I found my voice. I especially know this because my wife cried when she read it. She cried because she recognized what had been missing in my previous work: ME.
Questions: Do you have a dream? Are you pursuing it? If not, why? If you are, are you keeping your expectations reasonable? What struggles are you having and how are you moving through them?
April 11, 2012 in
MISCELLANY with
So the anxiety of this morning has turned to anger and frustration. The words won’t come out and, when they do, they feel awkward and strained. I know what I want to say but I do not know how to say it. I believe I am in this place as a direct result of reading back over everything this morning and hating it. I keep hearing that same voice that I hated this morning in what I write today and I am now self-conscious. This keeps me from accepting the words that are presenting themselves to me today and causes me to wrestle with new ways of saying what I haven’t even discovered I want to say yet.
The solution? Keep writing. And not only this, but keep writing down whatever comes to me. It is a first draft and, as Anne Lamott has observed, “first drafts always suck.” Perhaps I need to adjust my attitude. I need to stop thinking about writing this awesome book and just settle into writing a sucky first draft. Then perhaps I won’t be as angry and frustrated with myself when I write something that seems to suck.
Lesson: I cannot write a great book. What I can do is write a sucky first draft. In fact I’ll bet I can write the suckiest first draft that has ever been written.
Whew. I feel so much better now.
Back to it.
April 11, 2012 in
MISCELLANY with
Preparing to go write for the day. Yesterday went great and I got chapter 1 finished (19 pages). Great fear again today that I once again have to face somehow. The problem is that I sat down to read everything I have written so far and suddenly I’m not sure I like it. Any of it. Yesterday I thought it was amazing.
Bottom line: I can’t tell whether it’s good or not. I’m too close to it. Stare at yourself in the mirror for long enough and you won’t see your face any more — only everything that’s wrong with it.
The solution to all of this — start writing. Stop worrying.
Okay, the worrying part just comes with the territory to some degree. But I can write. I cannot control the outcome. The fate of this book will be decided by people other than me and that has always been the case. Move through doubt, through laziness, through procrastination, through anxiety and fear, through ANYTHING. JUST MOVE!
